Externalizing Problems: Seeing the Problem as the Problem

Many of us have a habit of internalizing problems, making them feel like personal failures rather than obstacles that can be overcome. When faced with challenges, we often think, "I’m not good enough," or "This always happens to me." This mindset traps us in a cycle of self-blame and inaction. But what if we changed our perspective? What if, instead of seeing ourselves as the problem, we saw the problem as something separate—something that could be addressed and solved?

Externalizing problems is a concept rooted in Narrative Therapy, a psychological approach that encourages people to detach their identity from their struggles. Instead of saying, "I am bad with money," you might say, "I am currently facing financial difficulties, and I need a better plan." This small shift in thinking makes a huge difference. When a problem is seen as an external challenge rather than a personal failure, it becomes something we can take action on rather than something that defines us.

One of the biggest reasons people internalize problems is emotional attachment. When we struggle, especially in areas like career, relationships, or personal growth, we tend to see it as a reflection of who we are. If a business owner faces declining sales, they may think, "I’m not cut out for this," instead of recognizing that external factors—market trends, customer behavior, or competition—might be contributing to the issue. Internalizing problems leads to guilt, stress, and self-doubt, making it harder to take the necessary steps to improve the situation.

By externalizing problems, we allow ourselves to look at challenges objectively. When we detach emotions from an issue, we can analyze it more clearly and create effective solutions. A student struggling with exams might think, "I’m just not smart enough," but an externalized view would be, "I need to find a better study method that works for me." A professional struggling with work-life balance might say, "I’m failing as a parent and an employee," but shifting the perspective to, "I need to set better boundaries and manage my time more effectively," opens the door to improvement instead of self-blame.

One real-life example of this mindset shift is how successful companies approach setbacks. When Apple faced declining iPhone sales due to market saturation, the company didn’t say, "We’ve lost our touch." Instead, they externalized the problem, recognizing that consumer preferences and market conditions were evolving. This led to a shift in strategy—greater investment in services like Apple Music, iCloud, and wearable technology like the Apple Watch. By seeing the problem as something external to be solved, Apple adapted and continued to grow.

Practicing externalization in everyday life takes conscious effort. It starts with changing the way we talk about problems. Instead of making statements that tie challenges to our identity, we can frame them as issues that need solutions. From there, we can analyze what external factors might be contributing and take practical steps to address them. When problems are no longer seen as personal failures, they become opportunities for growth and improvement.

Externalizing problems doesn’t mean ignoring personal responsibility—it means taking a more strategic and constructive approach to overcoming difficulties. The next time you find yourself internalizing a struggle, take a step back. Ask yourself, "Is this problem really a reflection of me, or is it something I can address with the right approach?" By shifting your mindset, you’ll find yourself not only handling challenges more effectively but also reducing stress and self-doubt along the way.